unfair

shut up.
you called me a liar
and for the last few days, i know you're lying

and what did I do?

I pray for you.
I'm worried about you for this long
and then today I found out
that you're fine and have fun in there
enjoy your own world with your fckin new friend
and easily ignore me
when I need you THE MOST
do you have any idea about it?

you forbid me not to share my story with anybody
but YOU, YOURSELF did not want to listen for mine.
how could you be so mean to me?

and after waiting for seventeen hours, it finally came.
i heard my phone notification.

than i click, view.

i'm tired.

seriously?
that's it?
and why i saw you in your closed group
saying a lotta happy words there
having so much conversation with your fellas

and me?
just a jerk that was abandoned

whatever,
I'm leaving.

youtube star !

okay. this is not a poem, or a story either.
this actually a lyrics of a song by gabe bondoc (have you ever heard before?)
he's one of my latest favorite 'cover-singer' on youtube.
he got a really great voice, and admirable guitar skill.

this is one of his own original song. it totally describe my condition. LOL~
no,no. just a little part actually.

well, hope you like it too :)



(I've Got A Crush On A) Youtube Star Lyrics

I fall apart when you say hello
At the beginning of your video
So nice of you to come by my place
On your trip through this whole cyberspace

I know that this is crazy
So I just keep it to myself
Tell me, who can I tell?

I got a crush
On a YouTube star
It's a little bit much
Cause everybody knows who you are
I got a crush
On a YouTube star
And I won't get far
But I got a crush
On a YouTube star

I check everyday
Subscribed to your page
Checking for updates
Well ok, I guess there's none today

Well that's just fine
I'm sure you're busy all the time
With all of the Youtube things on your mind

I know that this is crazy
So I just keep it to myself
Tell me, whom gonna tell?

I got a crush
On a YouTube star
It's a little bit much
Cause everybody knows who you are
I got a crush
On a YouTube star
And I won't get far
But I got a crush
On a YouTube star

I know you think it's silly
But yes I think I've really found someone
Found her with a search engine
My Y-O-U-T-U-B-E Star

I got a crush
On a YouTube star
It's a little bit much
Cause everybody knows who you are
I got a crush
On a YouTube star
And I won't get far
But I got a crush..

I got a crush
On a YouTube star
It's a little bit much
Cause everybody knows who you are
I got a crush
On a YouTube star
But I won't get far
Cause I got a crush
On a YouTube star


*PS :
click and follow him -->

ada waktunya.

akhir - akhir ini, seriiiiiiing banget ngerasain sesuatu .
kirain cuma sensi. ato badmood. yeah, sort of.
tapi setelah dipikir lagi..

ternyata saya mudah iri.
ngeliat sesuatu yang saya belum atau nggak bisa lakuin, saya iri.
ngeliat temen yang bebas ini itu saya iri.
ngeliat orang lain dapet moment dan once in a lifetime experience yang saya ga punya, saya tersenyum miris. saya iri.

bukan, bukan dengki. saya kagum sebenarnya sama mereka.
tapi..
saya iri.

kesuksesan yang mereka dapet sekarang dimana-mana .
saya bangga . dan saya iri .
saya tahu telah berfikir terlalu jauh. saya berandai andai terlalu tinggi . saya berharap atas kesempatan itu . golden ticket yang pada kenyataannya banyak terjamah oleh orang-orang dengan rantai sosial tertentu.

tidak, sama sekali tidak.
saya luar biasa senang atas senyum mereka.
hanya saja
saya.. iri.

lagi, saat muda mudi di tengah kisah kasihnya.
saya melihatnya .
bukan, bukan subjek .
saya hanya.. iri.

namun segera saya sadar,
saya dilihat .
saya dijaga .
Tuhan akan memberi saya cerita yang lain
unik . untuk diri saya sendiri.
setiap hal ada waktunya .
saya tidak boleh egois .
saya sudah pernah jalani . dan sebagian masih akan saya jalani.
entah kapan .
Tuhan yang tau .

PENSAGA 2010 JONG HEROISM !!

COME AND JOIN US at #PENSAGA2010withNEXIAN !

twitter : @pensaga2010

JONG HEROISM !!!

QUOTE OF THE DAY

Let us be silent, that we may hear the whispers of the God

because all plus one is alone

banyak banget yang jadi beban pikiran
dan nggak ada seorang pun yang ada untuk berbagi
atau saya yang terlalu menutup diri?
mungkin bener. dan secara nggak sadar jadi egois
dan ansos -antisosial-

saya menyatakan diri bahwa saya tidak mampu antara P dan O word
dan saya akan meninggalkan field itu
dan membangun field lain
terimakasih bapak ibu guru yang menaruh kepercayaan dan keakraban pada saya

O word, saya akan kembali pada anda Insya Allah bulan agustus tahun depan.
saya janji begitu saya lepas dari rantai ini, saya tidak akan membiarkan seseorangpun menginjak injak kesempatan saya lagi
saya akan melangkah, ambil resiko, dan saya akan benar belajar

saya nantikan kamu
Allah Yang Maha Memberi, tolong beri saya satu kesempatan
sebelum kontrak saya habis,
saya ingin membuktikan pada keangkuhan mereka,



saya bisa.

You Don't See Me

I see you staring at me,
but you never truly see,

why I love you, oh, so much,
when you're so out of touch.

Feelings that we could have shared,
you flung behind without a care.

It seems so hard to let you go,
and the process is so slow.

I don't know whether I should stay,
and waste another day away.

I do know, though, that all this pain,
will soon drive me insane.

You don't feel me loving you,
and you just can't seem to get a clue.

You don't see me cry inside,
and in you I know I can't confide.

Yet still I find that you are blind,
to things meant to be kind.

You know nothing of my fears,
and are unaware of all my tears.

I know I really can't deny,
things I feel as I look you in the eye.

So who will help me make it though?
Who will tell me what to do?

How come every time I see your face,
for me there's never any space?

Maybe someday you'll see me differently,
so until then, I'll be waiting silently.

-http://kask.us/1193008-

QUOTE OF THE DAY

The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn't being said.

LEBARAN !

maaf telat ngucapin..
walaupun udah H+7, aku tetep mau ngucapin :
SELAMAT IDUL FITRI 1431 H
MINAL AIDIN WAL FAIDZIN
MOHON MAAF LAHIR BATIN



banyak banget yang nyenengin di lebaran tahun ini
tapi 1 hal yang nyebelin, bikin aku gendut lagi
huhu ;(
ga bisa aku ceritain sekarang sih, tapi janji deh kalo sempet aku nulis lagi
oke?


besok udah masuk sekolah dan aku masih sangat males. apalagi hartus ngurusin lomba GSO. udah sampe dimarahin sana sini, gara2 kelas 3 masih royal jadi panitia..
yaudah deh terima aja
oya semangat juga buat fikaro sama dek bayu
ayo bismillah buat lomba kita di UNNES
hohoho *nangisliatbukuolimlagi

semangat juga buat Kyu Hyun, idola baru ku hehe
아주 아름다운 목소리를 가지고 사랑하는 규 현.
나는 정말 좋아해요 당신은. 언젠가 내가 당신을 만날 수있는 희망과 바로 당신에게 말한다.
내가 널 그대로의 너를 좋아해 :)

haha.
KPOP addict? nggak terlalu sih
seneng aja sama dia hehe

okelah, FIGHTING !!!
:)

holiday yuk :)

halooo blogwalker
hehe
akhirnya balik lagi ke depan pc
unyu~ haha

akhirnya liburan juga..
setelah kemarin sebulanan sekolah *malesin banget gara2 AKREDITASI + SERTIFIKASI
nggak banget deh berasa military camp versi edukasi
zzz

yaudah
MPC liburan ini digunain sebaik - baiknya ah
mumpung ga banyak PR
hehe

oyaaaa
sekarang udah SEPTEMBER :)
(backsong : september ceriaaa september ceriaaa milik kitaa bersamaaaa ♪♫♬)
oke. lebay
ga kerasa udah hampir 2 bulanan sekolah
kelas XII lagi!
berarti tinggal 5 bulan sebelum perang..

oh god :(
aku takut deh jujur
tapi bismillah aja deh. hadapi dengan senyum :):):)

liburan ini kayanya nggak mudik..
hehe. bokek buat bangun rumah
biarin deh. istirahat dirumah aja :)
oyaoyaoya
jangan lupa bersihin rumah sebelum mudik yaa
ntar ga enak kan kalo kalian mudik terus pulang2 jadi penuh bakteri
plis, jorok --"







hehe
udahan ya
nggak penting banget nih posting kaya gini
iseng doang

oyaaaaaa lupa, jangan lupa follow twitterku yaa :
@nuzuliaa

makasiiiih ★

break corner 1

why liaa31.co.cc?
i couldn't find something else, this is my blog. i like 31. and i hadn't got any fixed name for this blog.

why do you often use english?
i don't know. i think it's an universal language, and writing this page using english is make me feel comfortable. it also helps me train my grammar and vocab.
that's obviously profitable.

how about people who read this blog?
hm, i have ever considered that. i am afraid they'll be uninterested w/ my writing, or maybe didn't understand or feel comfort about this. but, again, i hope it doesn't bother them when reading this page although i'm using english. .__.

why do you blog?
actually i love wrriting. sometimes, i'm an awkward person in sharing something/idea real world. in that kind of time, i will try to write/draw it, or telling it w/ another way. and when i got something to tell off, and i'm home, and it's not specifically pointing for anybody, i'll do blogging. or maybe write at somewhere else.

so, all of you post is about your general idea?
nope. sometimes i write about poems, something privat, but not in 'to-the-point' way.
it's a virtual world, virtual society, and i'm not gonna share something important or a kind of privacy in here.

will you keep writing here?
i'm at 3rd grade of HS, it definitely will make me busy and stressed out. but i'll try to maintain my blog. beside, this blog will be my trash bag if i find something to share. ainsi, bien entendu, je serai de retour :)

an amazing line

Alhamdulillah
Allahu Akbar
Subhanallah
Astagfirullah
aku nemuin suatu kejadian menarik ! *maaf lebay

tapi sebelumnya aku pengen ngucapin dulu, selamat datang buat RAMADHAN. terimakasih ya Allah telah memberi kesempatan untuk mencicipi bulan penuh berkah ini..
semoga kami, semua hamba-Mu dapat menunaikan ibadah dan amalan pada bulan puasa ini dengan sebaik - baiknya. amin.. :)


oke. back to this case
i just realize, this last hour, that my bestie at JHS, dating YKW. someone from the past.
oh my god
I AM LAUGHING SOOO BAD
no, i'm not mad. sad. envy. curious. shocked.
not even feel a piece of those negative thinking.
i am so relieved.
lega sumpah.. LEGA :))

selamat ya R**I* dan **O
hahaha
demi apa nggak ada yang ngasih tau aku
sumpah ya
congratulation
i hope both of you could be forever
i am sorry for the man, i've ever done something wrong.
but now you've got my bestie
and if, you ever make her cry,
you'll directly back to the first place of my blacklist

selamat yaa buat yg cewek
aku masih inget kamu bikin novel buat aku tentang 'your own present boy nowadays'
hillarious!
kebetulan atau.. TAKDIR?
:)



selamat berbahagia deh buat sahabatku, R
demi apa kamu orang terbaikku dulu. muah2
semoga dia nggak nyakitin kamu
langgeng yaa
love is all around both of you, couple
♥

going to (a particular) college?

hello there ☺
i'm a third grader of high school now. it's time to make a huge decision.
a really really important one. COLLEGE LIFE. aargh (-,-)
well, I'm not good to tell it by a sequence writing. so, let me share it with Q&A mode. enjoy!

***

Q: are you going to continuing your education on college?
A: yes. Insya Allah. absolutely. I really mean it.

Q: how far is your limit point to decide it?
A: err about 8 months maybe?

Q: are you ready? i mean now, this time, literally?
A: okay. this is complicated.
for the being a college student, i am so ready.
but before that, for competiting at UAN and SPMB or PMDK or SNMPTN etc., i'm not ready. yet.

Q: what will you do to fix that?
A: pushing my limit. getting closer to Allah (amiin). and change my habits.
my whole habits that have correlation to my success.

Q: do you believe you can do that?
A: YES. YES. I TRUST ALLAH, I TRUST MYSELF, I TRUST MY FAMILY.

Q: have you considered about its cost?
A: about the money, i do. and it's really freaking me nuts.
paying for a college fee is like burning our parent's money. (although it's obviously done w/ great payback)
that's why i'll try to get a scholarship. i really want a scholarship :(

Q: err.. what about your family and friends?
A: family? they're obviously support me in every single time. i have a great prime family. and a great big family too.
about friends, i love them. much. so so. but it's time to be independent. i mean, i will not depend on friends in taking chances to continue my own struggle.
beside, they're (literally) still my competitor too :p

Q: and your crush?
A: he has been supporting me for the last 2 years and i believe whatever it is, he believe that i can choose a good way under the blessing of my parent and Allah SWT.
it's a kind of LDR but i think we're gonna be fine because we're not physically bounded. we're a great partner, a best friend, and it'll always be the same straight way. we're moslem. may Allah blessed us. amin ☺

Q: so, you're confident enough to start your struggle now?
A: confident? I don't know.
i just try to be strong. brave, and well prepared. i think it's gonna be followed by the confidence.

Q: well, i think it's enough. isn't it?
A: LOL~ whatever



Q: one last question, where have you planned to study next actually?
A: i dont know yet. seriously. curious? better you just wait and see ;)

DARE TO BE SOMETHING?

"courageous
brave
fearless
confident
daring
venturous
gallant
reckless
bold"

all of them is pointing for an exact behaviour,
which is very strong, meaningful, and indefectible.

once you lose it, you'll lose your direction. your power. your passion.
it's not really about sovereignty, dominance, and all 'trashy' things to grab and rule the whole world.
it's about being honest to yourself. using your ability. pushing your limit. beat your fear.
it's about you.
personal. not the global things.
world, society, moreover other people. a person. your enemy.
no, it's all about you.

you have it. inside your blood. along your breath. between your heart's beats.
everytime you doubt, every single second you feel ashamed, afraid, losing your bravery, just listen to your voice and remember.
everybody have fear. they will always have it. wherever, whoever, whenever.
BUT LISTEN. the one who have fear, is the one who can have courage.

you know why?
because courage is a defense, a resistance to fear. IT'S NOT AN ABSENCE OF FEAR.

be brave. challenge your limit.
later, when you look back, you'll see that you've done it already.

PENAT

gadis itu, dia ada di titik jenuh. capek
ngelihat tugas - tugas sekolah yang nggak bakal berhenti semester ini
ngurus ini itu yang jadi tanggung jawab tiap peran yang dimainkan
njalani hari - hari tanpa ada motivator
belajar tiap sekolah sampe otaknya males
sampe matanya yang minus makin lelah mbaca alfabet yang tertera
cari uang . uang . uang . buat acara yang panitianya sendiri nggak tau mau diapain
ngalah di tiap kesempatan
sedangkan mereka apa
cuma bisa ngurut dada
seakan nggak bisa bantu dan berperan apa-apa
muak banget dengerin basa basi
kalo mau frontal, silahkan. tapi jangan backstab
kasihan, niatnya hanya ingin belajar
dengan normal.
tanpa ada kericuhan
orangtuanya sibuk. kerja. cari uang lagi
dia dirumah, lagi2 ngalah sama adeknya
dibela2in ngurus adek. nanti pas ditinggal sebentar masih dibilang apatis sama adek

does anybody care?
jaman sekarang orang ngeliat dari RESULT bukan PROCESS
bener2 panggung sandiwara
orang ngelihat yang dia lihat
ngritik apa yang dia nggak suka
memuja apa yang dia cinta
nggak mencari tahu apa yang dia nggak tahu


tak tahulah.
biar malam menjaga tidurnya
dan merajut doanya agar esok dunia lebih mencintainya

delivered through smile and tears.

dear my greatest and wonderful friends.
my classmates for the last two years.
my biggest part of my high school life.
my family, my child, my olympiad.

you know? we've separated.
almost a week.
and few days ago, i am broken.
i can't face this reality, i'm taken from you. from us. from our habits.
i'm sick of adapting new life. i can't even smile.
i'm fragile. easily cry . night by night.

but today, i'm ready.
ready to start opening my heart for a new direction.
our olympiad class might be crashed, but we are not fall apart.
we are one. and i believe we will always be.
i am not afraid anymore.
i love you olim, and i am strong for loving you.

this writing, might be not important for you.
but it really means a lot to me.
i'm too shy to speak this kind of conversation in the daily talk.
so i try to write it. i am sorry for disturbing you..

good luck, my friends.
our togetherness are obviously something. but it's not everything.
free your mind. your disappointment. your sadness. your fear.
defraggle your heart pieces to face this last year.
we're absolutely loving each other, and it hasn't stopped yet.
and i hope it will never end.

and remember. whenever you afraid, down, or broken,
look into your heart, close your eyes, and imagine a blue sky.
our memories and smile will always be there for you.

friday.
july 16, 2010.

a classmate who will always pray for your happiness,
mama.

HOLIDAAAAAY again?

helloooooo there, blogwalker :)
udah lama banget ga ngisi blog ini
apa kabaar ? aku lagi ga baik2 aja nih..
timbangan naik , tapi ranking turun .. tukeran sama lita :cry:
hebat bangeet dia hehe
kayanya aku harus ngurangin asupan perut dan nambah asupan otak nih . haha

oya by the way aku sekarang lagi libur 3 minggu. yap, 3 minggu! smaga libur 3 minggu! ngahahahaha!! (ketawa setan)
lebay . cukup.

naah aku mau share enaknya liburan ini aku ngapain yaaa?
udah ada planning siih . banyak malah, hehe .
1. ke jakartaaa bareng ninin kasian dia sendirian
2. perpisahan kelas 23-25 Juni yaampuuun sedih deh aku bakal kangen keluiarga OLIMPIADE ku sayaaaang udah 2 taun sumpah ya :(
3. ke bandung! ngahaha . mau nemenin mbo
4. nonton tivi
5. ngenet (WAJIB)
6. make over kamar ! haha . bosen banget sama yg sekarang zzz
7. BELAJAR . serius deh , udah kelas 3 aku mau berubah jadi super rajiiin hehe (drastis banget. ada yang percaya ? :p)
8. nyari tempat les . enaknya dimana yaa ? ayo aku butuh saraaan :o
9. dieeeet haha minimal balikin badan kaya awal taun deh . standar --"
10. mendekatkan diri sama yang diatas (siapa hayoo) hehe aku butuh rebuild mental buat kelas 3 =<

okeeeeeeeeee itu planningku
doain moga2 lancar yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
amiiin ya robbal alamiin

oyaaa kemarin jumat aku ketemu GIGI di acara udinus
dinner bareng hahahaha . aku ga ikut makan, yang penting sempet duduk bareng weeek hehehehe
nih fotonya


btw, ada hobi baru nih aku.
design baju hahaha . main2an tok sih tapi moga2 aja jd skill yg baik :)
nih, coba aja di looklet . hehe
MY LOOKLET ACCOUNT

see you soon yaa aku pastri nulis lagi kok liburan ini (insya allah)
byebyebye . muahh*

broken thought

sorry for my words
i just said what i was thinking about
sorry for being selfish
i just worried about my destiny
sorry for my tears
it's the only way to ensure that i really listening
sorry for being too honest
i could never hide anything on these eyes
sorry for my emotion
i am a woman, and it just happened
sorry for wasting your time
i wanted to be with you and something's broken

then the rains fell.

i know what it mean
i understand what is it about
i hold my own hand and smiled to pretend i was okay
i bite my teeth covering my fear and weakness
i turn back and try to stand still

a wrong decision from the start finally bring me to this place
i wanted to go back but i couldn't
i had been lying to myself for a long time
i knew i would regret this
it was just happened again
and i didn't feel the same anymore

God, please help me..

____________________________________________________________________________________
taken from ***r* ****y book :)

Yang Tidak Bisa Diucapkan Papa

Biasanya, bagi seorang anak perempuan yang sudah dewasa, yang sedang bekerja diperantauan, yang ikut suaminya merantau di luar kota atau luar negeri, yang sedang bersekolah atau kuliah jauh dari kedua orang tuanya.. akan sering merasa kangen sekali dengan Mamanya.

Lalu bagaimana dengan Papa?

Mungkin karena Mama lebih sering menelepon untuk menanyakan keadaanmu setiap hari, tapi tahukah kamu, jika ternyata Papa-lah yang mengingatkan Mama untuk menelponmu?

Mungkin dulu sewaktu kamu kecil, Mama-lah yang lebih sering mengajakmu bercerita atau berdongeng, tapi tahukah kamu, bahwa sepulang Papa bekerja dan dengan wajah lelah Papa selalu menanyakan pada Mama tentang kabarmu dan apa yang kau lakukan seharian?

Pada saat dirimu masih seorang anak perempuan kecil.. Papa biasanya mengajari putri kecilnya naik sepeda. Dan setelah Papa mengganggapmu bisa, Papa akan melepaskan roda bantu di sepedamu...
Kemudian Mama bilang : "Jangan dulu Papa, jangan dilepas dulu roda bantunya"
Mama takut putri manisnya terjatuh lalu terluka....
Tapi sadarkah kamu?
Bahwa Papa dengan yakin akan membiarkanmu, menatapmu, dan menjagamu mengayuh sepeda dengan seksama karena dia tahu putri kecilnya PASTI BISA.


Pada saat kamu menangis merengek meminta boneka atau mainan yang baru, Mama menatapmu iba. Tetapi Papa akan mengatakan dengan tegas : "Boleh, kita beli nanti, tapi tidak sekarang"
Tahukah kamu, Papa melakukan itu karena Papa tidak ingin kamu menjadi anak yang manja dengan semua tuntutan yang selalu dapat dipenuhi?


Saat kamu sakit pilek, Papa yang terlalu khawatir sampai kadang sedikit membentak dengan berkata : "Sudah di bilang! kamu jangan minum air dingin!".
Berbeda dengan Mama yang memperhatikan dan menasihatimu dengan lembut. Ketahuilah, saat itu Papa benar-benar mengkhawatirkan keadaanmu.


Ketika kamu sudah beranjak remaja.... Kamu mulai menuntut pada Papa untuk dapat izin keluar malam, dan Papa bersikap tegas dan mengatakan: "Tidak Boleh!".
Tahukah kamu, bahwa Papa melakukan itu untuk menjagamu? Karena bagi Papa, kamu adalah sesuatu yang sangat - sangat luar biasa berharga..

Setelah itu kamu marah pada Papa, dan masuk ke kamar sambil membanting pintu... Dan yang datang mengetok pintu dan membujukmu agar tidak marah adalah Mama....
Tahukah kamu, bahwa saat itu Papa memejamkan matanya dan menahan gejolak dalam batinnya, bahwa Papa sangat ingin mengikuti keinginanmu, tapi lagi-lagi dia HARUS menjagamu?


Ketika saat seorang cowok mulai sering menelponmu, atau bahkan datang ke rumah untuk menemuimu, Papa akan memasang wajah paling cool sedunia.... :')

Papa sesekali menguping atau mengintip saat kamu sedang ngobrol berdua di ruang tamu..
Sadarkah kamu, kalau hati Papa merasa cemburu?


Saat kamu mulai lebih dipercaya, dan Papa melonggarkan sedikit peraturan untuk keluar rumah untukmu, kamu akan memaksa untuk melanggar jam malamnya.

Maka yang dilakukan Papa adalah duduk di ruang tamu, dan menunggumu pulang dengan hati yang sangat khawatir...dan setelah perasaan khawatir itu berlarut- larut... ketika melihat putri kecilnya pulang larut malam hati Papa akan mengeras dan Papa memarahimu.. .
Sadarkah kamu, bahwa ini karena hal yang di sangat ditakuti Papa akan segera datang? "Bahwa putri kecilnya akan segera pergi meninggalkan Papa"


Setelah lulus SMA, Papa akan sedikit memaksamu untuk menjadi seorang Dokter atau Insinyur.
Ketahuilah, bahwa seluruh paksaan yang dilakukan Papa itu semata - mata hanya karena memikirkan masa depanmu nanti...
Tapi toh Papa tetap tersenyum dan mendukungmu saat pilihanmu tidak sesuai dengan keinginan Papa


Ketika kamu menjadi gadis dewasa.... dan kamu harus pergi kuliah dikota lain... Papa harus melepasmu di bandara.
Tahukah kamu bahwa badan Papa terasa kaku untuk memelukmu?
Papa hanya tersenyum sambil memberi nasehat ini - itu, dan menyuruhmu untuk berhati-hati. .
Padahal Papa ingin sekali menangis seperti Mama dan memelukmu erat-erat.
Yang Papa lakukan hanya menghapus sedikit air mata di sudut matanya, dan menepuk pundakmu berkata "Jaga dirimu baik-baik ya sayang".

Papa melakukan itu semua agar kamu KUAT...kuat untuk pergi dan menjadi dewasa.


Disaat kamu butuh uang untuk membiayai uang semester dan kehidupanmu, orang pertama yang mengerutkan kening adalah Papa.
Papa pasti berusaha keras mencari jalan agar anaknya bisa merasa sama dengan teman-temannya yang lain.


Ketika permintaanmu bukan lagi sekedar meminta boneka baru, dan Papa tahu ia tidak bisa memberikan yang kamu inginkan...
Kata-kata yang keluar dari mulut Papa adalah : "Tidak.... Tidak bisa!"
Padahal dalam batin Papa, Ia sangat ingin mengatakan "Iya sayang, nanti Papa belikan untukmu".
Tahukah kamu bahwa pada saat itu Papa merasa gagal membuat anaknya tersenyum?


Saatnya kamu diwisuda sebagai seorang sarjana.
Papa adalah orang pertama yang berdiri dan memberi tepuk tangan untukmu.
Papa akan tersenyum dengan bangga dan puas melihat "putri kecilnya yang tidak manja berhasil tumbuh dewasa, dan telah menjadi seseorang"


Sampai saat seorang teman Lelakimu datang ke rumah dan meminta izin pada Papa untuk mengambilmu darinya.
Papa akan sangat berhati-hati memberikan izin..
Karena Papa tahu.....
Bahwa lelaki itulah yang akan menggantikan posisinya nanti.


Dan akhirnya.... Saat Papa melihatmu duduk di Panggung Pelaminan
bersama seseorang Lelaki yang di anggapnya pantas menggantikannya, Papa
pun tersenyum bahagia....

Apakah kamu mengetahui, di hari yang bahagia itu Papa pergi kebelakang panggung sebentar, dan menangis?

Papa menangis karena papa sangat berbahagia, kemudian Papa berdoa.... Dalam lirih doanya kepada Tuhan, Papa berkata: "Ya Tuhan tugasku telah selesai dengan baik.... Putri kecilku yang lucu dan kucintai telah menjadi wanita yang cantik.... Bahagiakanlah ia bersama suaminya..."

Setelah itu Papa hanya bisa menunggu kedatanganmu bersama cucu-cucunya yang sesekali datang untuk menjenguk...

Dengan rambut yang telah dan semakin memutih.... Dan badan serta lengan yang tak lagi kuat untuk menjagamu dari bahaya....

Papa telah menyelesaikan tugasnya....

Papa, Ayah, Bapak, atau Abah kita... Adalah sosok yang harus selalu terlihat kuat... Bahkan ketika dia tidak kuat untuk tidak menangis...

Dia harus terlihat tegas bahkan saat dia ingin memanjakanmu. .

Dan dia adalah yang orang pertama yang selalu yakin bahwa "KAMU BISA" dalam segala hal..









http://www.kaskus.us/showthread.php?t=3028212


repost from : http://www.facebook.com/#/note.php?note_id=243963688960&ref=mf
dedicated to :

Sutopo Patria Jati, the greatest dad in the world.

The Ballad of the Losers

in this time, i won't write my own poem. but i'll translate an Indonesian poem taken from my brother's book, that named Balada Orang - Orang Kalah. enjoy this :)


The Ballad of the Losers

maybe we are just tired after centuries of debates
to see the tree and mountain fall down one by one
valley and river are full of stones
and the rain that is reluctant to come to the ground

maybe we are just tired after centuries of anger
to see the river and sea blackened because of spilled oil
the big fishing boat that continuously spread its net
forces away the fisherman's boats to the [shallow] coastal waters

maybe we are just tired, losing energy
to breath the smog from the cars that fills the air
the bad smell from scattered garbage
the clogged up ditch in all over the city

maybe we are just tired and almost giving up
to the law of the nature that has begun to change
maybe we are just tired because the rays from the fire starts to dim
blown by the strong wind without any barriers
maybe we are just tired because we are tired
all out of energy
all out of blood.

maturity

last night i talked to my dad about my willing to have something. he said that he wouldn't say yes or no to answer my question, but he would tell me what he need to tell and then i should decided it by myself. he said that he trust me, whatever i decided would be the best for me if i had thought well about my dad's words that night.
and i knew what it mean.
maybe maturity is the right word to describe it. and in this post i will share an idea about being mature.

The Oxford Dictionary defines the word "maturity" as "deliberateness of
action, mature consideration, due deliberation, fullness or perfection
of natural development, ripeness, due promptness, the state of being
complete, perfect, ready," etc.
well, i don't know. maybe it just the written explanation about maturity. if we look for the precise definition about it, we won't get that.
my idea about this word is quite wide. and so do my dad, as he told last night.
here they are.

MATURITY is...

not about age, but it's about having awareness, responsibility, emotional control, and understanding.

being responsible about what you have done and what will you do next.

being know how to do in an appropriate way.

considering something open-minded, by brain and heart.

capability to take a long-run view rather than act spontaneously.

capability to gather information before arriving at conclusions

and to stretch the mind to explore hidden possibilities and hidden potentialities.

having sense of perspective and skill to manage things inside it.

being wise and realistic in facing the problem.

and so on.
there might be many other definition about being mature. and all of them is true because the definition of something is based on your own perception. but the most important thing is not about understanding this word, but how to put it in our life.
okay, a little bit dizzy but interesting.
maybe our way to reach maturity is different for each other. i can't give you the sign or tips of being mature, because i still learn and look for that too.
maybe you can ask your parent, like i did. they know you well, trust me, they will show you the right and acceptable thing about maturity.

well, that's my point of view about maturity.

in short term, being mature is just acting like an adult, right ? we'll see ;)